Cycle 6

Just got done walking with Dynamics in the Los Altos Festival of Lights parade. It went really well and I think the girls had lots of fun...definitely gets you in the holiday spirit! The year is really winding down...one more week of regular rehearsals, then full run throughs, and the show for Nutcracker. Classes should be small the next few weeks as most kids will be studying for finals...just gotta pick costumes and finalize song choices for our June recital. The team had a holiday fair this weekend, which was great! I got a few gifts for people and the rest of my shopping will be done the week of Christmas...maybe a Wednesday here and there.

As the year winds down, I can't help but feel a little disappointed...ok, well a lot, but I'm trying not to seem like a whiny little b!tch. I really thought we'd be pg by now, and the fact that we're not...ugh, it just seems harder and harder to put on a happy face. The good thing is my thyroid levels came back in the right range, and at almost a perfect level for TTC. Problem now is what's the next step? I've been doing acupuncture, which I think is helping...hard to say. My gut is telling me to stick with it, so I'm going to...but I'm not sure acupuncture alone will help us be successful. Our RE says now my thyroid is in the right range, she'd like to see another cycle unmedicated before starting anything, but is also open to trying metformin, and then metformin and clomid together. After thinking about every possible scenario (hey, it's what I do) over the past few days, metformin seems to be the next logical step. It can take up to 3 months to tell if it's making any sort of difference, which I'm not thrilled about...but, it may take away some testosterone in my body in order for it to work right. I really wish there was some fast acting drug that would solve all my problems. For now, I guess this will have to do.

Back to the bump and grind tomorrow...Eric will be traveling for work this week:( I really wish my magical 3 days off turned into like 12 days off. How many more days until Christmas???

Rough week

It's been a while...I've been trying to keep my mind off "stuff". Mainly baby stuff...but it's hard. My temps have been really promising this cycle, took a test yesterday, BFN:( There are so many people announcing pregnancies this week, it's like a constant reminder that hey, I'm not knocked up. It's to the point now where I think I'm going to have to start avoiding certain places and situations. For example, dh's cousin's wife is having a baby shower on December 3rd. I'm beyond happy for them and don't want to seem like a sour puss, but I think I would be a miserable, bitter mess if I go. I don't want to feel like this...I want to be happy and not be phased by every big belly that seems to be walking by every 5 seconds. And I can't even talk about why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling either, because people just don't understand. I always get comments like, "you're young, you have plenty of time" or "when its supposed to happen, it will" or "have you tried talking to God recently?" Seriously?!? I dont feel that Talking to God will magically make me release an egg. Of course putting it that way just makes me sound sacrilegious and ridiculous. Here's hoping my thyroid is good in a week...I don't know how I'm going to handle 6 more weeks of this if I have to.