Eric and I drove to Palo Alto today to have an ultrasound done to see where we're at. It's only CD2 so don't go getting your hopes up. I guess the doctors need to check for cysts before moving forward with any medications. Good news is, I have plenty of eggs! So, back to clomid I go...combining with metformin this time, hopefully it will be a winning combination. I will have to take a blood test on Feb. 1st to see where my hormone levels are at (and where my thyroid is at :(), and then we go from there. I'm really scared about getting my thyroid tested again...like ridiculously anxious. Only so much I can do though...
I have a renewed sense of excitement and hope though...something I've been lacking for a couple months now. Even though I know the chances of this cycle working are slim, I just feel more confident (?) and at ease about our situation.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Weekly Check In 2
Another week down...today was a mostly lazy day because I was up late last night, and I had a killer headache. But anyway, here goes...
Weight down-none yet, I think. We got our new digital scale on Tuesday, so I'm not sure if my weigh in last Sunday was accurate. Considering what I ate this week, I'm calling staying even a win!
Days exercised-Got on the elliptical machine on Wednesday for the first time in forever for about 15 minutes. I know it was only for 15 minutes, but you gotta start somewhere, right? Didn't get to go for a walk on Friday, but Eric and I did walk a mile today.
Distance walked/ran-a mile today...and I'm not sure how far on the elliptical 15 minutes got me
How I'm feeling-good and bad about this week. I gave in and made brownies Thursday (there were calling my name in the cupboard). I tried to counter-balance the brownies by eating healthier since I knew I would eat them eventually.
Goals for this week-Keep up with eating healthy (and not eat brownies). I think Eric and my mom are going to start their advocate cleanse, which means no mayo, oils, and limited fats for the next 10 days. Hopefully that will give us all a jump started metabolism and I'll be able to burn through whatever calories I do eat a lot faster. I want to work out on Wednesday again, maybe I'll be able to up my time to 20 minutes? And then go for a walk at least one other day.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Weekly Check in
Ever since July, when we started Advocare, I've been trying to eat healthier and better...cut fat out of my diet, stop drinking soda, etc. While it hasn't been the weight loss I would like to see, it has made at least a little difference. I lost about 8 lbs. doing the Advocare program, but then it messed with my thyroid, so I had to stop. I've cut my soda and fast food habit. We still go out to eat like once a week, but I'm much more conscious of what I'm putting in my mouth. And I've managed to keep those 8 lbs. off! My jeans are starting to fall down because they're getting too big, and I love that feeling.
So...I'm not going to call it a new year's resolution, but I'd like to continue the path I'm on and bump it up a little even. Eric and my mom will be doing another Advo cleanse shortly...I can't do the cleanse, but I can eat healthy with them. I want to take walks and eventually work my way up to jog/runs (if my foot can handle it). As a way to keep track of my progress and how I'm feeling, I'm going to do a weekly (try my best, I swear!) check in to hold myself accountable. I'd like to lose a pound or two a week, but don't know how feasible that is...and I don't want to frustrate myself if that doesn't end up happening either. I'm hoping that by being healthy and losing weight, it might actually help my body to work right and in turn, get pg. So, here goes...
Weight down: -
Days exercised: Just one...last Sunday:(
Distance walked/ran: Walked about two miles with the dogs
How I'm feeling: I feel good that I walked what I did, but I know that I should have gotten up earlier on Wednesday to fit in a walk, instead of working all day. Same thing goes for today.
Goals for this week: Walk at least two days this week...shoot for Wednesday and Friday. Get an accurate scale reading...I ordered a new scale on Amazon and it should come in this week. Since it's digital, I'm really hoping it'll take the guess work out of weighing myself.
So...I'm not going to call it a new year's resolution, but I'd like to continue the path I'm on and bump it up a little even. Eric and my mom will be doing another Advo cleanse shortly...I can't do the cleanse, but I can eat healthy with them. I want to take walks and eventually work my way up to jog/runs (if my foot can handle it). As a way to keep track of my progress and how I'm feeling, I'm going to do a weekly (try my best, I swear!) check in to hold myself accountable. I'd like to lose a pound or two a week, but don't know how feasible that is...and I don't want to frustrate myself if that doesn't end up happening either. I'm hoping that by being healthy and losing weight, it might actually help my body to work right and in turn, get pg. So, here goes...
Weight down: -
Days exercised: Just one...last Sunday:(
Distance walked/ran: Walked about two miles with the dogs
How I'm feeling: I feel good that I walked what I did, but I know that I should have gotten up earlier on Wednesday to fit in a walk, instead of working all day. Same thing goes for today.
Goals for this week: Walk at least two days this week...shoot for Wednesday and Friday. Get an accurate scale reading...I ordered a new scale on Amazon and it should come in this week. Since it's digital, I'm really hoping it'll take the guess work out of weighing myself.
Visit with baby Avery
Today we went to visit baby Avery and her mommy and daddy, Kindra and Kevin (Eric's cousin and wife). She is about a week and a half old and is just so cute! Pretty calm for the most part, except when she's hungry. Kindra was telling me about how the birth went...something to look forward to for when Eric and I have kids, and about how exhausted she's feeling right now. I don't know how I would be on no more than two hours of sleep at a time, but she looks so in love with her little one, I can't wait to be there.
Kindra did an awesome job painting the nursery...a lavender purple and light green motif, with stripes on one wall. Being that she's an artist, of course I knew it would be cute. I definitely know who to call when it's time to decorate our nursery.
It was pretty hard seeing Kevin and Kindra be all googly over Avery. Cute, but hard. I so want that to be me and Eric...and soon. I know there are more struggles ahead too. I can only imagine how seeing my friend, Christie, with her baby at the end of March is going to make me feel. I wish I didn't feel envious, but I can't help it.
Kindra did an awesome job painting the nursery...a lavender purple and light green motif, with stripes on one wall. Being that she's an artist, of course I knew it would be cute. I definitely know who to call when it's time to decorate our nursery.
It was pretty hard seeing Kevin and Kindra be all googly over Avery. Cute, but hard. I so want that to be me and Eric...and soon. I know there are more struggles ahead too. I can only imagine how seeing my friend, Christie, with her baby at the end of March is going to make me feel. I wish I didn't feel envious, but I can't help it.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
2011 Recap
As this is the last day of 2011, it seems appropriate to put together a little recap of everything that happened this year...so, here goes.
After a wonderful Christmas in 2010, Eric and I decided to not wait any longer to start our family. We were both ready and willing to turn our family of two into a family of three. January 3 marks the official day I stopped taking BCP and we started TTC.
We took the most amazing vacation to Cancun in April with my side of the family (Bro, Sis-in-law, Aiden, Mom, and even Dad) for my mom's 60th birthday. It's been so long since any of us actually took a real vacation, and the Costco price was right for a 3 bedroom, town home villa. We stayed at the Omni Hotel right on the beach. The view was amazing from our room! We spent most of our time relaxing at the pool, drinking fruity drinks (hey...all-inclusive is the way to go!), and catching some rays. We dipped our feet in the Atlantic Ocean once or twice (I didn't realize before we went how choppy the water is there. They have red flags up all the time basically saying it's not safe to swim in the water.). We also took a day trip to see the Mayan Ruins at Tulum (so hot!). It was amazing to see what people built so long ago. We celebrated my sister-in-law's birthday on our trip, which took us to Dolphinarus and the water park to swim with the dolphins. I have to say this is one experience that is so NOT overpriced and I would repeat in a heartbeat. I would actually pay more to swim with them for longer. All in all, the week we spent in Cancun was way too short, and I can't wait to go back again.
May and June are always busy months for me at the dance studio, but so worth it in the end. The Dynamics show was one of our best ever...Charles and I had people talking for weeks about how great the show was. Recital was successful also...all the dances always seem to come together on stage.
Without a break, Charles and I took the Dynamics girls to nationals in Florida. They competed so well and I am so proud at how well we held our own in a competition of big shot studios. I feel the dancers really took something away from taking classes from big name choreographers and watching the other studios compete. Some of our girls even met the Dance Moms cast at the ice cream store in the hotel. After the week at nationals, it was time to reward all our hard work for the year and spend 5 days in Disney World. Eric and my mom, and several other studio families, flew out for the 2nd week in Florida. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to go to Disney World and all I can say is 4 days is not enough. I cannot wait to go back again!
August brought our trip back to Minnesota for my cousin Nick's wedding. Eric had met several of my MN family during our wedding, but this was a chance for him to meet the rest of the fam and see where I visited when I was younger. We got to meet my other cousin's 8 month old daughter and celebrate with extended family as Nick and Katie got married. It was great to see everyone and hopefully we'll get to go back again real soon.
October through December swamped me with dance stuff...fundraising with Dynamics again, teaching classes, and directing The Nutcracker this year. In one of my last posts, I told you how Nutcracker went, so no need to do that again. I'm just glad I was able to pull everything off!
It's been pretty hard the past two weeks, having time off from the studio, and allowing myself time to think about everything that's happened the past year. Most of the stuff has been really good...but I still dwell on the fact that I'm not pg yet. Cousin-in-law, Kevin, and his wife Kindra had a beautiful baby girl on Wednesday, Avery Rose. I am beyond excited for them, but I just can't help feeling like that should be us. I mean we were trying when they conceived, so it could have been us. Yet here we are, 12/31/11 and not a baby in sight. I go back and forth between feeling hopeful and feeling completely defeated. I always thought that it might take a while for us to get pg, but I secretly hoped it would magically happen right away...and I could be that person that would say "we were just lucky, I guess." I'm wondering if God has some master plan for us, like maybe he's trying to send us a sign to slow down...or me at least. I feel like I've done everything I can to help us get pg. Is there something I'm missing?
And so, on to 2012...I normally make new year's resolutions to eat healthier and lose weight, but that hasn't done much over the past few years. All I can hope for is that 2012 has as many highs as 2011 did, and that our family of two will grow very soon.
After a wonderful Christmas in 2010, Eric and I decided to not wait any longer to start our family. We were both ready and willing to turn our family of two into a family of three. January 3 marks the official day I stopped taking BCP and we started TTC.
We took the most amazing vacation to Cancun in April with my side of the family (Bro, Sis-in-law, Aiden, Mom, and even Dad) for my mom's 60th birthday. It's been so long since any of us actually took a real vacation, and the Costco price was right for a 3 bedroom, town home villa. We stayed at the Omni Hotel right on the beach. The view was amazing from our room! We spent most of our time relaxing at the pool, drinking fruity drinks (hey...all-inclusive is the way to go!), and catching some rays. We dipped our feet in the Atlantic Ocean once or twice (I didn't realize before we went how choppy the water is there. They have red flags up all the time basically saying it's not safe to swim in the water.). We also took a day trip to see the Mayan Ruins at Tulum (so hot!). It was amazing to see what people built so long ago. We celebrated my sister-in-law's birthday on our trip, which took us to Dolphinarus and the water park to swim with the dolphins. I have to say this is one experience that is so NOT overpriced and I would repeat in a heartbeat. I would actually pay more to swim with them for longer. All in all, the week we spent in Cancun was way too short, and I can't wait to go back again.
May and June are always busy months for me at the dance studio, but so worth it in the end. The Dynamics show was one of our best ever...Charles and I had people talking for weeks about how great the show was. Recital was successful also...all the dances always seem to come together on stage.
Without a break, Charles and I took the Dynamics girls to nationals in Florida. They competed so well and I am so proud at how well we held our own in a competition of big shot studios. I feel the dancers really took something away from taking classes from big name choreographers and watching the other studios compete. Some of our girls even met the Dance Moms cast at the ice cream store in the hotel. After the week at nationals, it was time to reward all our hard work for the year and spend 5 days in Disney World. Eric and my mom, and several other studio families, flew out for the 2nd week in Florida. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to go to Disney World and all I can say is 4 days is not enough. I cannot wait to go back again!
August brought our trip back to Minnesota for my cousin Nick's wedding. Eric had met several of my MN family during our wedding, but this was a chance for him to meet the rest of the fam and see where I visited when I was younger. We got to meet my other cousin's 8 month old daughter and celebrate with extended family as Nick and Katie got married. It was great to see everyone and hopefully we'll get to go back again real soon.
October through December swamped me with dance stuff...fundraising with Dynamics again, teaching classes, and directing The Nutcracker this year. In one of my last posts, I told you how Nutcracker went, so no need to do that again. I'm just glad I was able to pull everything off!
It's been pretty hard the past two weeks, having time off from the studio, and allowing myself time to think about everything that's happened the past year. Most of the stuff has been really good...but I still dwell on the fact that I'm not pg yet. Cousin-in-law, Kevin, and his wife Kindra had a beautiful baby girl on Wednesday, Avery Rose. I am beyond excited for them, but I just can't help feeling like that should be us. I mean we were trying when they conceived, so it could have been us. Yet here we are, 12/31/11 and not a baby in sight. I go back and forth between feeling hopeful and feeling completely defeated. I always thought that it might take a while for us to get pg, but I secretly hoped it would magically happen right away...and I could be that person that would say "we were just lucky, I guess." I'm wondering if God has some master plan for us, like maybe he's trying to send us a sign to slow down...or me at least. I feel like I've done everything I can to help us get pg. Is there something I'm missing?
And so, on to 2012...I normally make new year's resolutions to eat healthier and lose weight, but that hasn't done much over the past few years. All I can hope for is that 2012 has as many highs as 2011 did, and that our family of two will grow very soon.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
About time for another BFN...
Then again, maybe not such a normal cycle:( I've decided that the almost positive OPK should be just that...ALMOST positive, and I've changed it in my chart to reflect the negative result. My temps haven't been too wonky, but still not temp rise, or at least a sustained one. I keep looking for some hope in this cycle...I figured if I haven't ovulated yet, then it could be any time. I have no idea how big my follicles are right now. Maybe it's only a day away. Like I said, any hope will do, and it's getting harder and harder to come by.
I've been trying so hard to stay positive and keep my mind off things, but I think the holidays are getting to me. And my brother talking about the end of the world in 2012 (as dumb as it sounds) makes me super nervous and anxious. Here's what's going on in my head...even if we got pg right now, that would put us due sometime mid-September. So that means, we only have 3 months of chances (if you can call them that even) left before we're into a 2013 baby. I know, I know...no timeline, right? Well, I would really like the chance to enjoy some sort of motherhood. And I really want to be able to enjoy the holidays with MY baby, not someone else's. Which again makes me sad, because if the world is in fact ending, then I already don't have any Christmases left to enjoy. Ugh, I can be so overdramatic...it's so hard to put feelings into words right now. I tried to explain to Eric even, but it just sounded like I was babbling nonsense. And I guess I am...but at least it feels like it helps.
I'm also on pins and needles waiting to hear about two very important babies being born soon. One to my friend, Christie, from college, and another to my cousin-in-law's wife. Both having girls, and due within days of each other. Hopefully I'll get to meet both little ones soon, even if it does remind me of my own "failure".
On the bright side, I'm really enjoying being "off work". I put quotation marks in there, because let's face it, I'm never really "off" between all 3 jobs. Just today, I put together the deposit from Nutcracker fundraisers. And I'm already starting to think about cutting recital music so I can choreograph and start the dances right when we get back. Tomorrow is normally my day off...and it would be completely off if it weren't for the Optometry holiday party. I'm a little bummed that instead of sleeping in with my hubs I have to go spend time away from my house. At least the owners are taking us on a shopping spree and making a game out of it...I'm determined to be the one who spends the most money without going over budget:)
I've been trying so hard to stay positive and keep my mind off things, but I think the holidays are getting to me. And my brother talking about the end of the world in 2012 (as dumb as it sounds) makes me super nervous and anxious. Here's what's going on in my head...even if we got pg right now, that would put us due sometime mid-September. So that means, we only have 3 months of chances (if you can call them that even) left before we're into a 2013 baby. I know, I know...no timeline, right? Well, I would really like the chance to enjoy some sort of motherhood. And I really want to be able to enjoy the holidays with MY baby, not someone else's. Which again makes me sad, because if the world is in fact ending, then I already don't have any Christmases left to enjoy. Ugh, I can be so overdramatic...it's so hard to put feelings into words right now. I tried to explain to Eric even, but it just sounded like I was babbling nonsense. And I guess I am...but at least it feels like it helps.
I'm also on pins and needles waiting to hear about two very important babies being born soon. One to my friend, Christie, from college, and another to my cousin-in-law's wife. Both having girls, and due within days of each other. Hopefully I'll get to meet both little ones soon, even if it does remind me of my own "failure".
On the bright side, I'm really enjoying being "off work". I put quotation marks in there, because let's face it, I'm never really "off" between all 3 jobs. Just today, I put together the deposit from Nutcracker fundraisers. And I'm already starting to think about cutting recital music so I can choreograph and start the dances right when we get back. Tomorrow is normally my day off...and it would be completely off if it weren't for the Optometry holiday party. I'm a little bummed that instead of sleeping in with my hubs I have to go spend time away from my house. At least the owners are taking us on a shopping spree and making a game out of it...I'm determined to be the one who spends the most money without going over budget:)
Monday, December 19, 2011
The most fabulous of weekends
I've been meaning to post for a while now, but things kept getting in the way. It's been a crazy, busy month as usual and expected around this time of year. This weekend was Nutcracker weekend and I made my debut as Director of the production. Everything went really smoothly and all my dancers were amazingly fabulous! I truly am the proudest of "mother hens" right about now. Reviews from family and friends were fantastic, even from total strangers:) It's weekends like these that make all the blood, sweat, and tears...all those hours inside, away from my own real family and husband, completely worth it.
This weekend could not have come at a better time either. This cycle, cycle #6, I started taking Metformin. It wreaked a little bit of havoc on my stomach for a few days, but has been pretty good since I've gotten used to the medicine. According to my charting, it seems that I may be having a "normal" cycle. Last Wednesday, I had an OPK that was so close to positive, I had to call Eric in to ask him which line was darker. I've never had an OPK be even remotely close to positive...and since it was too close to tell and I needed a second opinion, I'm marking it in my chart as a positive OPK. Yesterday's temp was up, but today dropped back down somewhat. I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up, but who am I kidding...any glimmer of hope I might have a "normal" cycle, I'm all over it. So, like I said, this weekend was awesome for not only the above mentioned reasons, but also because it took my mind off the whole temperature/charting/ttc thing. A day or two more worth of temps will be able to tell me for sure if the met worked this cycle or not...keep your fingers crossed for me!
This weekend could not have come at a better time either. This cycle, cycle #6, I started taking Metformin. It wreaked a little bit of havoc on my stomach for a few days, but has been pretty good since I've gotten used to the medicine. According to my charting, it seems that I may be having a "normal" cycle. Last Wednesday, I had an OPK that was so close to positive, I had to call Eric in to ask him which line was darker. I've never had an OPK be even remotely close to positive...and since it was too close to tell and I needed a second opinion, I'm marking it in my chart as a positive OPK. Yesterday's temp was up, but today dropped back down somewhat. I'm trying really hard not to get my hopes up, but who am I kidding...any glimmer of hope I might have a "normal" cycle, I'm all over it. So, like I said, this weekend was awesome for not only the above mentioned reasons, but also because it took my mind off the whole temperature/charting/ttc thing. A day or two more worth of temps will be able to tell me for sure if the met worked this cycle or not...keep your fingers crossed for me!
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