11/3/12...Happy Birthday Mallory Katherine!

So I've been writing this post for two weeks now...obviously life with a newborn is never ending! Eat, sleep, and poop is right...


A few weeks later, and I'm finally able to put everything into words...and have time to write everything down;) Our little Mallory made her long-awaited appearance on Saturday, November 3rd at 126am! Eric and my mom were so helpful in documenting the whole labor, delivery, and hospital stay with notes and pictures so that I could recount and remember everything as it happened. The following is our little Mallory's birth story, from my perspective...

It all started on Friday, November 2nd...we had our routine weekly visit with Dr. Nath at 1050am. We went through the usual routine...checked in, waited a little bit to be called into the room, was weighed to check my weight gain (luckily it was a morning appointment, so my weight was actually down;)), went through the whole "what medications are you taking? when was the last time you took them?" spiel, and checked my blood pressure. My blood pressure has been pretty much all over the place since becoming pregnant...sometimes it's perfectly normal, sometimes it's a little bit high. Over the past couple weeks, I noticed it was slowly creeping up a bit, but I wasn't worried about it. I figured if it was really a worry, Dr. Nath would say something.

Dr. Nath came in, asked how we were doing, and asked when I wanted to be induced. I jokingly said,  "yesterday!" She checked to see how much I was dilated and effaced...good news! I was already 3cm and about 70% effaced...so much better than the 50% and 0cm I was from the week before. I was actually shocked because I've read that normally you feel something while getting to 3cm. (I should mention here though...while I wasn't feeling any of what I considered "real" contractions, I was pretty sure I had lost my mucus plug on the morning of Nov. 1st (the day before). As gross as it is, I was caught so off guard by the slimy feeling (because I was sure nothing was happening in terms of labor) that I took a picture of it and confirmed it with Dr. Nath. It was indeed my mucus plug...so maybe stuff WAS actually happening, even though I didn't feel it.) She took my blood pressure again, which I thought was odd, because she's never double checked it after Nurse Gladys has taken it at any of our other appointments. "Ok, head over to the hospital," Dr. Nath said. I looked at Eric's shocked face and sat for a second while it all sank in. Excuse me, say wha?? 

Dr. Nath explained that since my blood pressure was getting higher, and I was already dilated to 3cm, it would be best to go and be induced. She said there's no point in putting the inevitable on hold and increasing your chance of a C-section, you could go into labor anytime now, so maybe we just give your body a little nudge with pitocin to get started. We didn't have anything with us...no bags, no clothes, no boppy, we hadn't even eaten anything because we were planning on going out to lunch after our appointment. Did we have time to go eat and grab stuff? Nope, we were to go straight to the hospital so that we could get whatever labor and delivery room was available to us...the sooner we got there, the sooner pitocin could be started, the sooner we could meet our little girl!

After leaving Dr. Nath's office, Eric and I had a little (a lot!) of adrenaline running through us. We needed to take a deep breath and make a few phone calls...to my mom and dad, to his parents, to my sister-in-law, Mari...we totally thought we had a couple more days to get used to the idea of being parents. After calming down, we headed to El Camino Hospital where Dr. Anderson (another Doctor from PAMF and Dr. Nath's colleague) was expecting us. We were led right into a labor and delivery room around 12-1230pm and they started our registration process.

As I mentioned before, neither Eric or I had eaten anything and the nurse highly suggested eating something now, because once things got started I wouldn't be able to eat later, even if I actually felt like it. Eric took his cue and drove to pick up some soup and half a sandwich from Erik's deli for me and something for him while the nurses finished asking all their questions. By 230pm, I had finished eating my half a tuna sandwich and cup of butternut squash soup and was ready to be hooked up to an IV.

I have to be honest, having an IV put in was one of my biggest fears about going through the labor and birth process...just something about that big needle going in my hand...gives me the heebie-jeebies! Well, apparently my veins were NOT cooperating with the nurse because she tried one vein on the inside of my left arm...no go! Then another vein on the top of my left hand...another no go! I think the nurse maybe wasn't the best with putting in IVs?? Finally a different nurse came in, took a look at all my veins, and got me set up with a vein on top of my right hand. I'm not going to lie...these needle pricks HURT!...and the two on my left hand actually hurt worse than the final one on my right hand after it was all taped up. Thankfully after all these needles, I didn't need to have anything else pricked to be all set up with an IV and pitocin. The pitocin drip was started right about 3pm at a level 1...to be upped by 2 every half hour. We were on our way to getting this labor business started!

All set up on IV and pitocin...ready to go!

Baby girl was quite active after me eating lunch, so the nurse (Nurse Sandi) had to keep coming in to check her heart rate on the monitor they had strapped to my belly...she did NOT want to stay on that monitor. Nurse Sandi also had to check the baseline for my contractions because I was still not feeling very much, even though the monitor was registering that I was having contractions. They mostly just felt like braxton hicks contractions...very high up on my tummy and just like a tightening, no real pain or anything.

Nurse Sandi had just come to up my pitocin to a level 7 and check everything...no sooner had she left, I felt a sort of pop on the inside (kind of like when you pop your hip, but it definitely wasn't my hip) and then 2 seconds later a gush of something...kind of like I had just peed myself:/ It was about 450pm and I was pretty sure my water had just broken! A check from Sandi and sure enough it was amniotic fluid...steps in the right direction!

The contractions picked up quite a bit after my water breaking...like I actually had to breathe through them and try to relax. They felt like really, really, REALLY bad period cramps...x10! I don't know if it was the pitocin, or just the way my body was reacting to everything, but my contractions were right on top of one another...it was like I couldn't catch a break from the pain.

About 550pm, I had to get up to go to the bathroom. This was interesting because I was hooked up to the IV and pitocin, so I had to cart along that walking pole with the hanging bags, lol. Eric helped me to the bathroom and as soon as I sat down on the toilet I started to feel really faint and nauseous. I asked nurse Sandi if this was normal and pretty much right away I knew it wasn't because she rushed me back into bed and asked me to take deep breaths. She asked when the last time anyone checked me was and I honestly couldn't remember anyone "checking" me...lo and behold, I was 6cm already. Sandi thought maybe I was going into transition because of the nausea feeling...and the fact that I was complaining about a lot of pressure in my pelvis. Nothing really to do, but to lie down and try to relax through the pain.

My mom listened to me and made sure she documented by picture each part of the process...including the pain:)

The contractions were getting worse and worse. My dad arrived at some point and came into say hello. Mari and Aiden also arrived at some point. I remember thinking I had to tame my breathing and moaning because I didn't want to scare Aiden...the last thing I wanted was for him to be traumatized by Auntie Sara, and hospitals. Eric's sister, Laura, was another visitor we had during this time...I think. As the contractions got worse, so did my memory and sense of everything...so I'm taking guesses a little bit here.

About 650pm, nurse Sandi came in to check my progress again...dilated to 8cm this time...and she was impressed! She started saying she was going to get the table and everything ready because if I kept progressing like I was, this baby girl was going to be here in no time. The pressure on my pelvis was super intense and it was getting harder and harder to maintain breathing through each contraction. At this point, we started talking pain relief. I was very hesitant to take anything, whether through IV or epidural. I thought if I'm already at 8cm and that was supposed to be the peak of pain (according to Sandi), then I could make it to 10 cm for sure. But then doubt started to creep in...making it to 10cm was no problem, but how about the pushing...straining...possibility of tearing?? If I was in so much pain now, how much more pain or pressure would all that bring on? Pretty much I took a vote around the room...mom, Eric, Sandi, what do you think? What would you do? Of course no one gave me a flat out yes or no answer, but they talked it through with me and I decided an epidural was probably a smart choice. So, now it was waiting time for the anesthesiologist...

Trying to breathe through the pain.

I didn't have to wait too long, thank goodness! Around 7pm, the anesthesiologist came in and talked me through any side effects I might have and talked to me to make sure this is what I wanted. Along with getting an IV put in, getting an epidural was my next biggest fear about the whole birth process...so fear #1 faced...onto fear #2. The hardest part about getting an epidural, and the most painful, was the initial numbing shot...it felt like a shot in my spine, which is pretty much what it was. Between contractions, pressure in my pelvis, and this shot...this had to be the most painful moment of the whole experience. Once that initial shot was done, I didn't feel a whole lot. At one point, I know the anesthesiologist was putting and placing the catheter in my spine and I felt something in one of my hips...as soon as I said where I felt something, it was fixed and I no longer felt it...almost like something was being twisted around in my back...the weirdest feeling!

Fake smile before the epidural

Getting the epi...

...epi done!

I felt the effects of the epidural pretty close to immediately...it was heaven. The pressure on my pelvis disappeared. The painful contractions melted away. I could lie in peace:) Before the epi, it was hard to have even part of a conversation...like when you're trying to talk to someone but are distracted by a text message or tv show and you keep having to ask them "what?" Everything was just a fog. After the epi, everything was crystal clear...I knew who was in the room, what was going on, even the clock seemed to make more sense now. At some point, because I was progressing so fast, they had turned the pitocin way down. Now that the epidural had taken effect, Sandi came to put a catheter in so I wouldn't pee myself (graphic, I know...but really how else is there to say it? When you're numb from the waist down, that's what you gotta avoid!), and also upped the pitocin again. After a brief check, I was informed I was dilated to 9cm right around 755pm. For those of you keeping track, that's 3cm in a matter of 2 hours!

Real smile...post epidural:)

All wired up...IV, pitocin, epidural, heart rate monitor, and contraction monitor!

I tried to rest as much as I could, but my adrenaline was starting to kick in. I wanted to talk to people and tell them all about my day, my water breaking, how we weren't supposed to be in the hospital yet. Everything was so exciting, how could I possibly rest? After almost 2 hours, nurse Sandi came in to check my progress again...945pm and I was fully dilated! Unfortunately, baby girl was still presenting at a zero station and I had to get her to a +4 station before she was ready to make her appearance. Sandi upped the pitocin again (I think) and told me to rest...hopefully the contractions would move baby down and I would be ready to push soon enough.

Quick photo op:)

Mom was excited to be there:)

Trying to rest

For anyone who doesn't know, they monitor pretty much everything when you're in the hospital...even for something supposedly so natural as giving birth. They have you hooked up with belts around your belly to monitor your contractions and the baby's heart rate. They have a finger doodad thing to monitor my heart rate. They have the blood pressure arm band thingy wrapped my ankle?? They were also checking my temperature periodically...and this time it was starting to rise. About 1025pm, my temp went up to 99.1...as my mom liked to say, I had a "slight" fever. 99.1 is nothing to worry about in my books...we're off normal body temp by what, half a degree? Sandi and I both gave my mom a hard time about saying I had a fever, but I guess it is noteworthy now because it plays a part in this whole story.

A short while later, about 1030pm (?), baby girl was still resting pretty high in my pelvis, somewhere between a zero and a +1 station. Sandi wanted me to practice pushing to make sure I pushed correctly and to see if we could work this baby down the birth canal a bit. Practice pushing turned into real pushing, and eventually I had an annoying oxygen mask placed over my nose and mouth. The oxygen mask, I thought, made it harder to breathe, but I guess I needed it for some reason pertaining to baby.

Stupid oxygen mask...

At one point during all this pushing, baby's heart rate jumped (from like 130ish to 170ish?) all of a sudden. It remained high for a good couple of minutes (at least) and the doctor and Sandi were a bit concerned. By this time, there was a shift change, so I now was dealing with a "new" doctor (not that I'd seen the other one all that much) and nurse. Dr. Trunah (I think that was her name, or something close to that...for some reason I could not remember this doctor's name, even though I asked what seemed like 10 different times...blame it on the drugs...) and nurse Becky were now checking me out and getting caught up to speed on my labor so far. After pushing some, baby's heart rate calmed down and went back to the normal 130ish range...except she did not want to seem to move down the birth canal at all. By 1230am, she was still presenting at maybe a +1 station...

Dr. Trunah said "ok Sara, time for a heart to heart"...at that point I knew that it was time to worry a little bit. I had been pushing for 2 hours, baby was not moving down, I was getting more and more exhausted with each push...it was to the point where I could barely push for 3 seconds, and even those 3 seconds of pushing were making me slightly dizzy and way out of breath each time. The oxygen mask was driving me crazy. My contractions were right on top of each other so the "urge" to push never really went away. I was trying to hard to do everything right, but I think this baby girl had other plans. On top of all that, my temperature was still rising each time they took it, which led them to believe I had some sort of infection in my uterus? They had actually already started me on antibiotics a half hour or so before because of my temperature. This heart to heart the doctor wanted to have with me was not something I wanted to hear...it was time to make a decision about the rest of this birth.

Baby girl was still presenting high, so if I wanted to push, that was fine, but it was going to be AT LEAST another hour of pushing before she was even ready to make an appearance. The doctor was worried about this infection and how it would affect the baby...and she was worried about my stamina and how much longer I would even be able to push. OR...we could end everything right now and go for a c-section. Now, before actually going through everything, I was so against a c-section...like wanted to avoid it at all costs. But, I was also afraid of getting an IV and an epidural...so obviously, things change. Between everything the doctor just said about pushing for so long (and having to do so much more) and my fever, my exhaustion, the pain and pressure I was feeling...it just seemed like the most logical thing to do was to have a c-section. I mean there was no way I could push for a whole other hour when I could barely push this second. So the decision was made at 1245am...and I was on my way to get prepped for surgery.

As soon as the decision was made for to have a c-section, it was like a tornado swept through the room. Eric and my mom had to clean everything up because we would not be coming back to the room...that meant food, power cords, cameras...everything! I think they just threw as much as they could in one bag, hehe. Unfortunately for my mom, they only allow one other person in the operating room (besides me...which of course was Eric) so she would have to wait in the waiting area for her grand baby to be born:( They wheeled my bed off to the operating room to prep me for surgery while Eric put his scrubs on over his clothes. It seemed like forever before they brought him into the room with me. I remember the doctors and nurses writing 101am on the white board in the room, but then there was a long pause before they even began the surgery. They put up the blue curtain...Eric was sitting next to me, holding my hand. I was so tired, it was like I could fall asleep while they were performing the procedure.

Ready for surgery... and ready to meet our little girl!

I don't remember a whole lot about the surgery. I know I couldn't feel a thing from the stomach down. I think baby girl was stuck somewhat in my pelvis because I remember them pushing my body towards my head, as if to de-wedge her. It was the oddest feeling. Then, I heard someone announce "1:26"...I remember thinking is she here?? But no one really said anything to me. The anesthesiologist said congratulations to Eric, but things were so foggy, I had no clue what was going on. I kept looking at Eric and I wanted to ask him what was going on...all I could say is why isn't she crying? It seemed like an absolute eternity before we heard our baby girl cry and finally we heard it. It was so surreal....nothing like what tv and the movies portray! I almost didn't realize it was her crying. Eric was called over to the table where he was able to cut the umbilical cord (more like shorten it because it had already been cut) and he was able to bring her over to me so I could see her for the first time. I thought I would be a bundle of emotion, and I'm not sure if I was just so out of it and tired or what, but all I could do was look at her. I didn't cry, didn't say very much...just touched her head and looked between her and Eric. We snapped a few pictures and then they had to whisk Mallory off to the NICU to run tests and make sure she was healthy. Eric had the choice to stay with me or go with Mallie...I made him go with Mallie:)

Our beautiful little Mallory...just born!

First family photo

Proud and emotional daddy

I dozed in and out of sleep while the doctors and nurses finished up my surgery, and was wheeled off to recovery right around 2am. Nurse Becky had to come and check my incision sight and take my temperature and blood pressure every 15 minutes to make sure I was recovering well. Eric came back from the NICU and I could tell he had been crying a little bit. He was trying to tell me what was going on with Mallory, but I cut him off..."wait, are you crying because something is wrong? or are you just so happy that she's here?" Eric was just so overcome with joy! Mallory was 6 pounds, 6 ounces and 19 3/4 inches long. WHAT?!? How did we have such a small baby??!!?? We were expecting her to be 8 pounds or more!

Eric's sister, Laura, and my mom and dad were the lone stragglers left waiting to see me and meet Mallory. They all came into recovery to see how I was doing. It was a little awkward because I was so shivery and shaky coming off anesthesia and out of surgery...like uncontrollable shakes...I think it actually worried Laura a bit. One by one, Eric took them to the NICU to meet Mallory. It was so hard seeing them come back and hearing about my baby girl because I wasn't able to spend any time with her yet, but so good to know that everything was good so far with Mallory.

Finally around 345am, I was done with recovery and was ready to be wheeled over to the NICU to meet my baby girl. I couldn't really sit up so it was a little hard to hold her, but it was the most amazing feeling...holding little Mallory in my arms in just her little diaper. We attempted breastfeeding and she latched right away...shocked me a little. It was like she knew who her momma was<3 I wanted to stay and cuddle this little girl all night (or morning by this point) long, but after only 15 minutes or so it was time to head to the maternity ward and get settled in to my own room.

Mallie in the NICU

Our first meeting! I finally get to hold my baby girl!

The "next" day was seriously fuzzy. Eric and I tried to get as much sleep as we could throughout the morning, but it was so hard to calm down after everything we had just been through. Nurses came to check on me every hour, breakfast was served around 8am...all I could think about was going to see my baby again. Finally, around 1130am, I was able to get up and get in a wheelchair so we could go to the NICU. Mallory looked like a different baby, even from just the night before. It was so nice to cuddle her and just hold her, and know that she would be ours forever!

Mallie spent all day Saturday and Sunday in the NICU. I was a little confused on why she was there, instead of with us, but after a few different conversations, it was cleared up for me. Poor little Mallory actually had a few things working against her. 1. When she was born, she was very slow to respond. Her first apgar score at 1 minute old was a two:( I found out later that the nurses actually had to intubate my poor little baby girl. For this reason alone, any baby would go straight to the NICU. Luckily, at 8 minutes old, her apgar score drastically improved to an eight. 2. Also when she was born, she happened to swallow some amniotic fluid...and the amniotic fluid had some meconium in it (I'll spare the explanation here...look it up if you need to know, but know that it's not a good thing). Luckily, they were able to clear out all the fluid pretty easily and none of it went past her vocal chords, so she was able to avoid a lung infection. Again, any baby that was in this situation would go straight to the NICU. 3. Since I had a fever during labor and delivery and they found out there was a slight infection in my uterus developing, they feared this infection could be passed to Mallory. Again, any baby in this situation would go straight to the NICU to be put on antibiotics immediately to prevent the spread of an infection. Lucky for us and Mallory, even through she had 3 different situations that would have sent her to the NICU, all her tests came back with great results and were in the average/normal range. She was a perfectly healthy little baby and was able to join us in our hospital room on Monday morning!

We were discharged from the hospital on Wednesday, November 7th. It was hectic getting out of the hospital...you know, having a newborn and all now;) It was so surreal to bring Mallory into her new home for the first time. Since I had a c-section, recovery was a bit difficult. I wanted to change Mallie's diapers and bounce her up and down when I held her, dress her up in all her cute outfits. My surgery incision started draining a bit, so I really had to take it super easy. No going up and down stairs for me, no bending over a changing table...pretty much I went from our bed in the morning to the la-z-boy chair in our living room during the day and back to our bed at night. I felt completely useless as a parent. Luckily, Eric has been a champ at changing diapers and rocking Mallie to sleep. He's really stepped up where I was unable to during my recovery...and he assured me that I was doing everything I could for our little girl.

As I think back to my labor and Mallory's birth, I feel I made every decision that was best for me and her. I don't regret anything...for the most part. I'm a little sad that I had to have a c-section instead of delivering vaginally, but I think only for recovery reasons. I know we are going to have more children, and I'm hoping I will be a good candidate for a VBAC...I would like to know what "normal" childbirth is like. But in the end, I want to do what's best for my baby. In Mallory's case, who knows what would have happened had I decided to push for that extra hour...I could have ended up with an emergency c-section then, or maybe she would have caught my infection. Who knows? I can only be happy now that she is home...happy and healthy with us!

40 weeks...our due date!

How far along-40 weeks (plus some hours since I'm posting so late at night)...our estimated due date was today! Time for this little girl to make an appearance!

Weight Gain-Nothing gained in the past week...thank the lord! Actually, according to my doctor charts, at my last appointment, Nurse Gladys mentioned that I lost weight:) I laugh every time she weighs me though because my appointments are always at different times of the day...my weight fluctuates so much during the day, it's so hard to tell how much I've gained or lost from week to week. At least with weighing myself at home, I've been consistent in weighing in every Sunday morning before having anything to eat for the day. Total weight gain is somewhere between 30 and 35 pounds...not too shabby for a first pregnancy!

Baby Size-Bean (if we can call her that anymore) is now the size of a jackfruit...another one of those WHA??? fruits:) She should be full grown and ready to come out...somewhere between 6 and 9 lbs (hopefully closer to 6 or 7!) and measuring somewhere between 20 and 22 inches long. Even though I haven't gained any weight this week, I'm sure Bean has...which makes me a little nervous about the longer she stays in my belly, the bigger she's going to get. Hoping she comes soon!!

Movement-I think I'm finally starting to see a pattern of this little girl slowing down. The past couple days she's been pretty calm and quiet...I've actually had to do my kick counts a couple times to make sure everything was ok in there. Maybe she's finally running out of room! Not that I want her to suffocate in there or anything...I just feel that the more room she has and the more comfortable she is, the longer she's going to stay inside...and I want her out!

Sleep-mostly fine. Some nights are better than others in terms of getting up to go to the bathroom. I'm still able to find a certain amount of comfortable-ness, although it takes me longer to get comfy once I do lie down. Another point, I thought I was a night owl before? I can't seem to get my brain to shut down and go to sleep earlier than 1 or 2am! I fall asleep sitting up most nights because of my heartburn...I want that nexium to take effect! I can't seem to wake up earlier than 10ish every morning either...at least I have that luxury right now:)

Feeling-Let's get this show on the road! That pretty much sums up how I've been feeling for a few weeks now...just anxious to meet this little bean!

...Had to put the computer down last night because I kept falling asleep while typing:(...plus I was having an issue with pictures. This is the continuation from last night's post...

I've been very frustrated today...not quite sure why. I think it's more of a hopeless feeling...I've been walking, bouncing on my exercise ball, doing whatever I can think of (almost) to get labor going....and nothing! I've been having a lot more braxton hicks contractions, but nothing that feels even remotely close to a real contraction. Possibly I felt something today...possibly. But nothing consistent...I just feel like I'm going to be pregnant forever! And I know that's not the case either, because by next week at this time, I will probably have been induced and have a wonderful baby girl in my arms...but until then, it sure as darn well feels like I'm going to be pregnant FOREVER! And I understand everyone around me is excited for Bean to come, but I am getting overly annoyed with everyone asking me every 5 seconds if anything is happening. Trust me, when something is actually happening, I will be screaming it out to the world! This feeling is a combination of frustration, uncomfortable-ness, hopelessness, feeling emotional and bored, and just plain being tired. I've tried to explain how I'm feeling to Eric, but how am I supposed to make him understand what it's like to feel all that and carry a bowling ball around in your stomach? while trying NOT to pee your pants?

What I miss-Being able to hold my bladder for longer than 5 minutes...that will go back to normal after this baby is born, right?

What I am looking forward to-This baby girl being born!!! Really there is NOTHING I am looking forward to more at this point...not Halloween, not my doc appointment, just getting this baby OUT!

Milestone/Best moment this week-This past week has been a blur...I think just reaching 40 weeks is great! The SF Giants did win the World Series on Sunday night...that was exciting to watch! But all the while I was hoping we'd be watching them win from the hospital...

To Do-Find a last minute halloween costume??? I was hoping we'd be in the hospital, so nothing from me here. I think almost everything on my to do list is crossed off...now I'm actually looking for stuff to do to occupy my time until baby girl gets here...there is, after all, only so much tv to watch.

Food Cravings/Aversions-Same story...my dad actually cooked tri-tip at his house on Saturday while we had a little pumpkin carving party. We stopped to get me a subway sandwich just in case I didn't want to eat it and good thing. I hate to be so disgusted by what other people are eating, but I saw that piece of meat on the BBQ, and it just reminded me of a dead rat carcass:( Blech...

Bonus-Countdown....overdue!!!
Some pictures from this last week...

39w, 3d...showing quite the belly!

Comparing Bean to Pumpkins

Which one is bigger?

39 weeks!

How far along-39 weeks exactly today...although we're at the end of the day, so let's just say we're 39 weeks and 1 day along:)

Weight Gain-Unfortunately, still gaining...I've consistently gained about two pounds a week for the last 3 weeks. My total weight gain is now somewhere closer to 35 lbs...not the 25 lbs I was hoping it would be:(

Baby Size-Bean has now made it to be the size of a watermelon...hopefully a small one! She weighs somewhere between 6 and 9 pounds, and measures somewhere between 19 and 21 inches...just like last week. She's just about outgrown what little room she has left in my belly, but for some reason, has not given me any indication that she has any intention of coming out anytime soon:(

Movement-Still pretty good! We had a slow day last week where I was actually a little worried because I didn't feel baby girl kick as much...did my kick counts and she hit 10 kicks within 20 minutes so no problem. The next day, she was back to throwing a party in my belly. I told her today (because she's been moving around so much) that there's way more room on the outside for her to move around then there is inside my belly. It's time for her to make her appearance!

Sleep-Not too bad. Still waking up every couple hours or so, but I find I can sleep pretty much at any given point in the day. Much of that probably has to do with being on leave, and my to do list getting shorter and shorter...but I'm amazed at how much I can sleep and still be tired. I know I should enjoy all the sleep I'm getting now because I most likely will not get any once baby girl is here, but I just feel lazy...I'm so used to going all the time, that just sitting around the house, watching tv makes me feel so unaccomplished.

Feeling-Ready to rock and roll over here. I've been on leave for a week and like I said above, my to do list is getting shorter and shorter. I've only got a few more little things to do that I really wanted taken care of before baby gets here...and they're not done yet because she's showed no signs of making an appearance...I'm trying to spread everything out so I don't get bored by the end of this week. The swelling in my legs and feet has gone down quite a bit since the weather has been much cooler over the past couple days...I can actually point my toes now! Just having a few minor cramps here and there and a lot of pressure put on my bladder...I sort of wish I could just walk around with a catheter attached and a pee bag (as gross as that sounds) just so I don't have to keep getting up and down to make trips to the bathroom. It really is like living that dream where you repeatedly have to go to the bathroom over and over again...only I never wake up from it:(

What I miss-I miss teaching and my students...don't get me wrong, I'm glad to have a break. I really haven't had much of one for like 3 years straight. But I do miss seeing everyone at the studio. I feel kind of left out of the loop knowing that stuff is going on without me being there every day. I wanna know how watch week went, how Nutcracker rehearsals went for the first weekend, how Dynamics dances are turning out...but I don't want to seem like a nap asking everyone how everything is going. I know my assistants can handle everything, and do a fabulous job...I just miss being involved...being Miss Sara.

What I am looking forward to-Doctor appointment on Friday...and hopefully meeting this little one very, VERY soon!!

Milestone/Best moment this week-Being able to sleep in and sleep whenever I want...going to the doctor last week to find out I'm 50% effaced already (when I mostly expected to have no news at all)...hoping for some progress on that at this week's appointment.

To Do-Put sheets on the pack n play, put our diaper caddies together, pack the diaper bag up...we're pretty much ready baby wise for her to be here already. Outside of baby stuff, just have to get Dynamics financials in order and submit for our non-profit status.

Food Cravings/Aversions-same story here...

Bonus-Before we get to the countdown, just want to mention that we watched the SF Giants kill the St. Louis Cardinals in game 7 of the national league championships tonight...9-0!! Can't wait to watch the Giants take on the Detroit Tigers in the World Series starting on Wednesday:)

Countdown to our due date (from right before I'm publishing this post)...6 days OR 143 hours OR 8,600 minutes OR 516,500 (ish) seconds!!!

38 weeks!

How far along-38 weeks exactly today...9 1/2 months along if you're counting by weeks!

Weight Gain-Everything I've read says that during the last month, weight gain slows down...well, apparently not for this one. If anything, my weight gain has sped up:( I know I've been eating trash the past couple weeks, and I'm hoping that honestly has a lot to do with it (and it's not because our baby girl is HUGE) because I've gained over 2 lbs each week the last couple weeks...puts my total weight gain to about 33 lbs...or somewhere close to that.

Baby Size-Appropriately, this week Bean is the size of a pumpkin...so suitable for her almost Halloween due date! Now I've seen some big pumpkins in my day...my dad used to love picking out these gargantuan pumpkins so he could carve some scary face on them to try and scare trick or treaters on halloween. I think that tradition has stayed with me, because I always look for the biggest pumpkin possible when we go to the pumpkin patch each year. Lord help me if Bean is anything like those pumpkins...I cannot imagine delivering one of those! No, according to books and websites, she should weigh somewhere between 6 and 9 lbs, and measure between 19 and 21 inches. I don't think those statistics will change in the next two weeks either...so pretty much she's about the size she needs to be full grown for birth!

Movement-I thought maybe she was slowing down a bit, but as soon as I think that, she starts moving up a storm. It's more rolling now than kicks, but she rolls across my abdomen A LOT! Baby girl is mostly quiet in the mornings...hopefully that means she'll be a morning sleeper so mommy and daddy can get some sleep in days;) As soon as I eat lunch though, she wakes right up and practices her big kicks. Sometimes her stretches and rolls almost hurt...like hey kid, how far do you think this belly will stretch anyway? It's like she's testing me to see how much room I can give her.

Sleep-I've had to add an extra pillow under my head this week in order to get rid of the mid night heartburn attack. Not really the way I prefer to sleep, but it works and I'm getting sleep instead of waking up with that burning sensation in my chest each night. Still waking up every couple of hours for a bathroom break as I like to call it...some nights are less frequent than others. I wanted to take a nap today so bad, but got busy doing stuff and just plain forgot:( Must remember to nap the rest of this week, while I still can!

Feeling-Anxious...somewhat more prepared. I got most of my hospital bag packed tonight, minus the last minute stuff we have to grab as we "run" out the door. The nursery is getting more and more put together with each passing day. Now that I'm on maternity leave it's almost like I don't want to do too much in one day just to save myself the boredom I might feel when everything is actually done. I've had like a weird feeling in my belly all weekend...not contractions or anything...almost like a gassy, cramp-like feel? The doctor has been asking if I've felt anything like that at my last two appointments...guess now I can finally say yes. Don't know if that's a sign of anything to come. Nothing besides that to report though...just the usual braxton-hicks and the pubic symphysis discomfort. Dr. Nath started talking to me about the signs of pre-eclampsia at our appointment last Friday...made me realize at any appointment from here on out, she could send me straight to the hospital if she thought anything was wrong. It's like we've been waiting all this time for baby girl, now that we're so close to her due date, it's so surreal. I don't think it will truly hit me until I'm holding her in my arms...and even then I might tell someone to pinch me to make sure I'm not dreaming.

What I miss-my boney ankles. They swelled up two weeks ago when we had that heat wave and haven't been the same since...seriously, like the size of softballs! They feel better after a good night's sleep, but by 3pm the next day they're back to being fat and ugly.

What I am looking forward to-A margarita! Feeling like I have everything done and "Ok, baby can come now!" Taking naps (before baby comes). Actually meeting our little girl and holding her for the first time!!!

Milestone/Best moment this week-Nothing too spectacular...the look on Eric's face when I told him I wanted to know how long my Braxton hicks contractions were lasting. It was like he had seen a ghost! He is so going to be one of those men that runs around the house like mad as soon as I start having real contractions. Little does he know, i have my lists prepared...he should just sit back and relax.

To Do-Put sheets on cribs, put together diaper caddies, clean up baby's room, pick out birth announcements...not too much left...

Food Cravings/Aversions-I should just take this off the list..it's always the same.

Bonus-Countdown...2 weeks OR 14 days OR 336 hours OR 20,160 minutes!

37 weeks!

How far along-37 weeks exactly...that means we're full term! 259 days along, only 21 more to go:)

Weight Gain-So last week was not a fluke as I hoped it would be...or maybe the week before that was a fluke, I don't know. Let's just say my total weight gain is hovering right around the 30 pound mark. I was hoping to stay closer to 20 or 25, but in the grand scheme of things, not too shabby.

Baby Size-Bean is the size of a winter melon this week...a what?!? I've never heard of one either, but that's what the bump compares her too. Kind of looks like a big version of a cucumber if you ask me. There's a big spread in how much she could possibly weigh, as well as how long she is...anywhere from 6-9 lbs and 19-21 inches. I read somewhere that Bean can still gain up to a half an ounce a day until she's born. No guess from the doctor on approximately how much she weighs...I'm hoping it's closer to 6 lbs right now, than 9...eeks!

Movement-Still moving around...it's like she can't run out of room! Or she is running out of room, but loves to move around so much, she'll fight for whatever room she can get. My doctor keeps asking if I've noticed any change in movement, or slow down in movement...and my answer is always, nope, she's definitely active! Sometimes I feel like she's using my uterus as a punching bag...who knows? Maybe she'll grow up to be a boxer??

Sleep-Still ok...still waking up about every 2 hours to go to the bathroom. I find that when I do wake up now, it's less like being half asleep and able to go back to bed easily...and more like I'm actually awake and could function right then and there. A couple times over the last week, I've had to sit up in bed and then force myself to lie back down. Also, I've fallen asleep sitting up in bed while reading I think every night for the past 3 weeks? It's like I can't go to bed normally anymore.

Feeling-I think I've felt every emotion under the sun in the past week. I've been scared of the unknown, sad about leaving my dancers and classes, excited to have a little break and relax before baby gets here, nervous about being away and bringing a human into the world, anxious to meet this little human growing inside of me...just everything. And feeling opposite feelings at the same time too. Mostly, I'm feeling more ready than ever to be a mom and go through the millions of emotions, trials and tribulations that that brings. With the heat last week, and feeling more like we have things ready around the house...I think I'm ready...we're ready to have this baby. I'm hoping she gives a few days off from work, but I'm hoping she comes early!

What I miss-Eating whatever I want...I can't tell you how many times a tuna or turkey sandwich has presented itself to me over the past week and I've had to turn it away. I've been eating so much junk food lately and I feel like I'm eating the same things over and over, day after day...it'd be nice to go back to tuna and turkey. Only a few more weeks left...

What I am looking forward to-Being on maternity leave! I'm looking forward to just concentrating on baby stuff, and not having to rush off to teach class or rehearsal. I'm looking forward to catching up on some much needed tv time. And I'm looking forward to taking a nap at 4pm, while I still can;)

Milestone/Best moment this week-My best moment was lame...it was honestly just making it to the weekend so I could sleep in. Reaching the full term mark doesn't hurt either!

To Do-I'm trying to cut my list down little by little...so last week, I took 3 things that needed to get done and did them. This week, I will read over my SDI forms and figure out how and when to submit them, I will pack my hospital bag (for the most part), and I will do some artsy project for baby girl's room that I've been wanted to do. If I can accomplish just those 3 things this week, then I'll be in good shape...and I'll have a lot more time next week (assuming baby doesn't come super early) to get the rest of the stuff on my list done:)

Food Cravings/Aversions-Same as usual...

Bonus-Just our countdown this week again...3 weeks OR 21 days OR 504 hours left to go until Bean's due date...even though I'm hoping she'll come much sooner;)

36 weeks!

How far along-36 weeks exactly today...even though today is mostly over. That's 9 months along if you're counting by 4 weeks=a month, OR just over 8 months counting by months alone.
Weight Gain-I prefer not to go here this week...let's just say that when I stepped on the scale yesterday, I thought it needed to recalibrate itself, only to find out that I did indeed gain a significant amount of weight this past week.:( Overall, my total weight gain is still pretty good (and under 30 lbs), but still to gain that much weight in one week?!? Kind of making me sick...

Baby Size-Bean is the size of a honeydew melon this week...she's getting up there! I have a couple different versions of how big she's measuring though...she could weigh anywhere between 4 and 6 pounds, and measure anywhere between 17 and 21 inches long. That seems to be quite a big difference in how big she COULD be...I'm anxious to see how big she actually will be! It's crazy to think that she really did start out as something so minute, it couldn't even be seen on a powerful microscope...but now, she's so prominently there! And we still have 4 weeks to go, so she's got more growing to do!

Movement-Still moving strong...she's been rolling around quite a bit still. I think I have noticed her moving a little bit less, or maybe she's sleeping more, but not by much. She likes to roll across my belly a lot, especially just after I've eaten. Sometimes if I sit a certain way, she let's me know she's out of room, which I think is hilarious for a second, until she almost makes me pee my pants because she's punching me in the bladder;)

Sleep-The last two nights have not been the best...on Saturday night, I turned abruptly and popped my hip pretty bad. All day yesterday I had this uncomfortable feeling like I had popped something out of alignment. It was just a lot of pressure on my pelvis, I think. Last night was ok...I woke up around 4am and could not for the life of me find a comfortable position to sleep in:( I ended up being awake for about a half hour trying to find a good way to sleep that didn't hurt my pelvis and hips, and was comfortable for my belly. I think I'm just getting to that point where my sleep is going to seem intermittent and naps will become a necessity...hmm, training for what is yet to come?

Feeling-I will be the first to admit, I've been darn lucky being pregnant...no complications to speak of, every test has come back normal and with good results, no morning sickness really, not really uncomfortable. It's been great actually! Well now that I'm in the home stretch, my feet and ankles are starting to swell (and a considerable lot with this heat we've been having...who would've thought it would be above 90 degrees on the 1st of October?!?), It's getting harder to be comfortable kind of at all, getting up and down is way harder....it's just getting difficult, period. I was so uncomfortable yesterday with the heat and swelling...we had decided to take the dogs to a nearby park just to get out of the house for a little bit and get some fresh air...boy, I thought I could go into labor at any second walking around that park. It was just crazy to feel that way after having it easy for so long. I understand what people have been telling me...by the time the end comes, you're so ready to have that baby!

What I miss-Being able to point my toes without looking like a cartoon character, not having cankles:(

What I am looking forward to-Maternity leave...and finally getting to meet this little bean inside of me!

Milestone/Best moment this week-I wouldn't consider it a moment like a milestone or anything, but the best part of this past week was taking some time this weekend to just relax. I did get a lot of work done this weekend too, but it was so nice to not leave the house for a day...I had no where to be and could do whatever I wanted. Another reason why I'm looking forward to maternity leave...I can nap, I can clean, I can do whatever I want (assuming baby girl cooperates and gives me at least a couple days to be on leave):)

To Do-My list is gradually getting smaller, but I still feel like there are so many little things to take care of. I wanted to make a playlist on my iTunes to listen to while at the hospital. We have to start getting our hospital bags together. Finish sorting out the nursery. Look into SDI. I'm sure there are a million other things I'm forgetting right now too...

Food Cravings/Aversions-Still the same, nothing has changed...

Bonus-No pictures to share this week...let the countdown continue...Less than one month to go! By the time I've finished typing this blog entry, it will be 3 weeks and 6 days left (almost full term) OR 27 days left OR 647 (or so) hours left! Going to start counting down minutes at the two week mark, and seconds at the one week mark:)

35/35!!!

How far along-For those of you that don't know, the title reflects that we are 35 weeks along, and have only 35 more days to go! It seems like I've waited forever for this day to get here...yet, at the same time, I can't believe how fast this day has come. It seems impossible to me that our excitement over becoming pregnant was already over 7 months ago. I can't believe that in a mere month, we will be able to hold our baby girl in our arms, and we'll finally be a family of 3!

Weight Gain-According to the scale this week, I just hit the 20 pound mark...hard for me to believe because I feel so absolutely humongous! We'll see what the doctor scale says at our appoint tomorrow;)

Baby Size-Bean is the size of a coconut this week. She can measure anywhere between 17 and 19 inches long, weighing somewhere between 4 1/2 to almost 6 pounds! According to the bump website, she's done with most of her growing lengthwise, but still has another pound or so to gain in baby fat before she makes her debut. I'm really hoping for my sake then, that right now baby girl is closer to the 5 pound range than the 6 pound range.

Movement-Still kicking up a storm! Although her kicks and movements now are different...before they were more like sharp, jabs, like an actual karate kick...now when she moves, it's more like a rolling sensation, like she's trying to push out as hard as she can to pop this bubble she's in. It reminds me of a scene in the movie "40 year old virgin"...I'll save you the details though;)

Sleep-...eh ok. Not much to say here really...still getting up every couple hours, starting to get more uncomfortable, and harder to find comfortable positions. I expect this is all normal for being 8 months preggo.

Feeling-A little anxious, and little nervous...anxious to meet this little girl kicking and jumping around inside of me, nervous about everything I'm going to be responsible for once she gets here. I'm really hoping I can get the majority of stuff done that I want to get done before she gets here, but we shall see...like I said last week, the list keeps getting longer and longer...

What I miss-Being able to get up and down from sitting or lying down without losing my breath. Most of the time baby girl is low enough that she doesn't bother me, but after sitting, she gets pushed right up into my ribs. Exerting the energy to stand up takes a lot out of me.

What I am looking forward to-The beginning of October (next week)...so I can finally say I'm due at the end of this month. Once we hit October, it's all going to get really real...like I need to have my bags packed and everything ready type of real.

Milestone/Best moment this week-We had our 4d ultrasound last week...one of the coolest things we've done so far. We definitely got confirmation that this thing inside of me is indeed a girl (saw her lady bits to prove it even) and got to see her play around a little in utero. She was trying to play shy and wouldn't put her arm down so we could get a completely clear shot of her face, but we were able to see quite a bit, including a moment where she grabbed her foot and kicked herself in the head! She's stretching for those big kicks already:)

To Do-Install car seats, put the pack n play up in our room to see how the cats react, look at my SDI paperwork, gather recital music to bring to classes over the next two weeks, finish washing and putting clothes away, get crib sheets and some other last minute things to be fully prepared for this little one, write thank you cards (my goal is to have them all completed and mailed before she gets here...whether that means I do 5 ever day, or all at once)...they WILL. get. done!

Food Cravings/Aversions-Same same here...

Bonus-Countdown...1 month and 4 days OR 5 weeks OR 35 days OR 818 hours!
Some pictures from our ultrasound...

Looks like she's having a party in there!

Playing shy...

More shy girl...

A foot...with 5 little toes!

34 weeks!

How far along-34 weeks today...238 days down, 42 more to go!

Weight Gain-Evening out once again...I only managed to gain a half pound this week, so my total weight gain is still right around 20 lbs total. I think being up and about at the dance studio helps a lot!

Baby Size-One email I have says Bean is the size of a butternut squash, another app says she's the size of an average cantaloupe...either way, she's getting much bigger and everyone can tell by the size of my growing belly. Bean weighs somewhere between 4 1/2 to 5 lbs, and measures somewhere between 18 and 19 1/2 inches stretched out in length.

Movement-Supposedly, at this stage in pregnancy baby starts to slow her movements quite a bit because she's running out of room in my belly. I feel like that might be happening a little bit, but not really. Most of this time this little girl is as active as ever...maybe that means she's a smaller baby? Or she's my belly is providing lots of room still for her? Either way, she's a healthy kicker:) I always say...she's either practicing her grande battements, or she's going to be one heck of a soccer player!

Sleep-I find that I'm sleeping fine, but I'm getting more and more tired as the days wear on. I really need to start fitting naps into my daily schedule, but there is so. much. to. do! I'm waking up all the time, it seems, to go to the bathroom. Luckily, I can fall back to sleep relatively easy...but I still wake up tired in the mornings...

Feeling-Anxious...about everything. Washing clothes, getting the nursery organized, installing car seats, leaving work, going into  labor...will I get everything done on time? Will I have any sort of maternity leave to just relax before baby comes? I know I can't control any of this, and I'm trying so hard to keep a well-balanced schedule...work on Dynamics a bit, then do baby stuff. I just find it's so much more fun to work on baby stuff now.

What I miss-Sleeping through the night...and having a bladder of steel! Being able to fall asleep lying down...because of heartburn, sleeping while sitting has become standard for me.

What I am looking forward to-Meeting baby girl of course! But beyond that...our 4d ultrasound tomorrow(that almost wasn't. The tech guy called me today because he just found out his power is being turned off from 9am-230. Whoopsies! So now our appt is at 330pm, instead of 11am...talk about rearranging a day around! ), our infant care class on Saturday, putting all our baby clothes away:)

Milestone/Best moment this week-My mom, sis-in-law, and bff put together and threw a family and friends baby shower on Saturday. Everything was so adorable...I couldn't believe how fantastic it turned out. The decorations, the punch, cake, the games...everything was perfect and such a great way to celebrate our little girl. We got a lot of much needed supplies for baby girl, and so many cute outfits! Again, this baby is going to be one stylish chick! I also had an office shower thrown for me today at the optometry office. After this weekend, I've pretty much been able to sum up what's left on our shopping list (which isn't much)...so we'll be able to gather stuff over the next couple weeks and be super ready for baby girl to get here.

To Do-Everything I'm feeling anxious about is also an item on the to do list. The list is seriously a mile long, and keeps getting longer every day. So many things I wanted to get done before baby gets here just aren't going to get done.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Food Cravings/Aversions-nothing new...

Bonus-Countdown...1 month, 1 week, 4 days OR 6 weeks OR 42 days...getting so close!

Some pictures from the shower on Saturday...

Dirty Diapers...

Yummy!

Cute details:)

What my baby girl MAY look like...:(

Sorting everything out...after the shower:)